i have no title for this one.

sorry, i'm going to continue this... i just have a lot of thoughts in my head

this whole dating thing... it really doesn't seem like its real. i was trying to imagine what it would be like...its so surreal, like it doesn't really happen. despite all of this, i want his arms around me, i want to call him mine. i know it probably wouldn't be peachy-keen all the time, and honestly, i don't want it to be. i know it probably won't last, and again, i don't want it to. i want us to break up, and maybe we won't get back together, but oh well. what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, yeah? i am fully aware that he may not be "the One". I'm not that kind of girl. but this whole thing of rejection and turmoil is making me feel so unworthy of even being a girl... like i'm wasting opportunities, wasting youth, and i hate that feeling.
blah. i need to paint.
i want to tell him.