yo' momma's research methodology is so flawed...

life is crazy....
on the one hand, the most amazing pair of people i've met are no longer a pair.
and then there's the one that i thought might be different... he has a wonderful girl, and i'm truly happy for them.
and then there's this whole fiasco. i can see why she's upset, but honestly, i have to agree with the parents on this one. just slow down, chica. it won't kill you to wait. (or keep it in your pants, honestly).
lawn & garden boy? meh. he's cool. but just a friend. not much spark. so i guess i'm just back to me.
<3

sorry, this isn't my department

once again, i don't know what i'm doing. i know i like being around him, i know he's a friend. but what i don't know is what will happen. ughhhhh, i'm so tired of this. why can't it be simple? why can't it be "hey, i like you" and "oh really? cool, i like you too" and just go with it?
i guess i'm just tired of the same old song & dance. i get to know a guy, start hanging out with him, start thinking things, and then BAM, something goes wrong and its awkward for me. i'm tired of being lost, i'm tired of these stupid blogs i write. i apologize to everyone who reads them. i know i'm annoying. i just wish i knew what to do.
everyone is telling me to just go with it, see where it goes. but how do i do that and make this time be different? its confusing to me. its good advice, yes, but every other time that i've "just gone with it", absolutely nothing has happened. i seriously need a tutor for this or something lol.
i'm just so tired of this. this whole wishful thinking thing. i'm ready to stop with the wishing. it just sets me up for dissapointment.

little nuggets, sweet and sour

Love doesn't make the world go round, love makes the ride worthwhile.

I'm looking for the guy who will pick up every piece of my shattered heart and put it back together, keeping one piece for himself & replacing it with a piece of his own.

i want to be the smile, the first thought, the long drive, or the short walk, the last voice, the random call, the laugh, the perfect kiss, the comfort hug, your second half, the sparkle in your eye, the everything you need, just what you want... i want to be yours.

i'm going to smile like nothing's wrong, talk like everything's perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me.

the woman came from a man's rib. not from his feet to be walked on. not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.

it's hard to wait around for something that you know might never happen, but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want.

i wish this was a book so i could stay up and read it, that way i can read past the boring in between stuff and get to the warm fuzzies

i just want to be the girl you talk about, the only one you couldn't live without... to be the one who makes your heart beat crazy, and for you to say to your boys "she's my baby"

you're everything i want and more than i deserve

maybe i'm not supposed to be over him. i mean, look at how many times i've tried. maybe theres a reason its not working.

when i text you, it means i am missing you. when i don't, it means i'm waiting for you to miss me

i'm the girl your ex will hate, the girl your mother will love, and the girl you'll want to be with forever

i've got a mind boggling, sense numbing, heart pounding, stomach flipping, take my breath away, head over heels, knee slapping, day dreaming, butterfly fluttering, weakness, smiling heart crush on you.

but, this is the sad part, we weren't even together and he still broke my heart

don't ever listen when people say he's not good enough for you, because truly, you are the only one who knows how he makes you feel

so there's this boy... & the way he laughs makes me smile... & the way he talks gives me butterflies... everything about him makes me happy.

there are only two times that I want to be with you... "now" & "forever".

a boy like you needs a crazy girl like me.

I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away

I'm just a crazy girl who loves this boy way too much.

long distance relationships suck, but he is SO worth it.

I'm not clumsy, he just makes my knees weak, and then I fall over.

the point is, we can't help who we fall in love with.

if I tripped and fell... and you saw it... I'd let you laugh at me.

today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you.

the spaces between my fingers are meant to be filled with yours.

So there's this boy...and I'd totally tell you all about him, but then you might fall in love with him too.

as soon as our eyes meet, i completely lose all train of thought

until you're mine i have to find a way to fill this hole inside, i can't survive without you here by my side, until you're mine not gonna be even close to complete, i won't rest until you're mine

somebody stop me

ughhhh
i'm suuuuch an idiot
i know i can't have him, yet i still try.
i know he's off limits, but i can't help thinking about him.
i know he doesn't feel the same, but i still have these insane thoughts.
i am so tired of bugging you all with this. i don't think anyone even reads this. i want to move on, but then i start thinking about him and it changes my mind. don't get me wrong, i love being friends with him, but it's just so. damn. hard. to deal with, being that close and knowing that that's as far as it will ever go, as well as its ever gone.
someone today told me to get my confidence up. i'm not sure that its possible at this point. i'm surrounded by amazing people all the time... you'd think that that would make me feel better about myself, but it just makes me feel like i pale in comparison. half the time i expect people to come up to me and ask about my friends... which happened the other day. its funny, okay, yeah sure, and i'll laugh and make jokes about it, but it hurts so bad... nothing makes you feel more worthless than "hey that friend of yours-- she was cute. can you hook it up for me?"
i feel so inadequate next to them. next to everyone.
i feel so empty.
i don't know what to do.

the songs you grow to like never stick at first

i'm still hoping there's a chance.
wtf is wrong with me? i don't understand. every other time this has happened, i gave up and moved on. why can't i do that this time? part of me really wants to move on... but then the other part of me screams "LAME!!!" and i feel like i shouldn't be moving on this quickly. everyone is telling me to find someone else, but i don't want it to just be a rebound kind of thing. this guy is one that i don't want to let go of, no matter what anyone says to me.

bestie, i know you're trying to help, but really.. don't ask me things like what the appeal of kissing is... >.< the offer still stands to trade. i'm so tired of this.

buh. suckage.

lets play a game

this game is called "your life is awesomer than mine"
ready? go!
...
guess what?

you win. game over.
hoorayyy.....
***

ugh, sinuses. they are seriously killing me slowly. >.<

it hurts.

i'm trying really hard not to be annoying. really. i hate feeling like this, like this is all i talk about, think about, and that people are really getting annoyed. i can't explain it. i'm soooo out of my head here.
its to the point where it actually physically hurts. like i've been shoved in the chest. >.<