i know what i want

sadly, he's 85 miles away
its so strange... i don't know how long i'll want him or even why. i just know that i'm tired of thinking about it. i want to just go for it. i want to make mistakes. i want to just live in the moment for once, to hell with the consequences. i can't be cautious all my life. i need a change, something exciting, something that i can look back on and share a secret smile.
i'm trying to figure out what he's thinking, but i don't want to sound like i'm trying to define exactly what we are. i'm just curious.
i know that he wants me though. even if its just a physical attraction. there's no way he'd talk to me like that if he didn't.