i wouldn't recommend reading this

Sometimes the most disjointed thoughts make the most sense in my head. Like right now, I'm jumping from thought to thought, trying to wrangle them into some sort of coherent thought process, into something readable with some sort of tangible flow, but all I keep coming back to is jagged imagery and brief --very brief-- explosions of inspiration.
Of course I'm thinking about him. What an utterly ridiculous question. I could lie and say that it's not so bad, this once a week visit thing, but that's just what it would be: a lie. For now I'm just concerned that I've turned into one of those girls... the kind who make their boyfriends their entire world, neglecting all other stimuli and focusing solely on the person who they think they "liek omg tottaly LUV" after just two weeks. It's been three & a half months (so sue me, of course I keep track), and I'm finally feeling totally comfortable with everything. Sounds weird to say it like that, but before, I was still trying to figure out how I was supposed to be a girlfriend. I wasn't uncomfortable per se, but I was sure awkward as hell. But back to my thought. I could apologize to the grand total of three people who actually read this for my total insanity and borderline pathetic emo-ness, but I figure if you don't want to hear about it, you wouldn't be reading right now ;) . So sue me, tell me to move it to Xanga or keep it in my journal, but this is essentially my journal. As much as I love writing and notebooks and just the feel of ink across a fresh page, my hands just can't keep up as easily with my mind when wielding a pen. Typing goes so much quicker, and by posting it online there is less of a chance of me losing it for one reason or another.
How's that for a total divergence from the original topic?
Back to my incoherent brain. So wonderfully disconnected. Clumsy revelations, flashes of emotions. Maybe I'm posting this to prove that for once, I was right about something. Everyone is always so skeptical about him, I guess I'm trying to prove that their fears are unfounded. It's in the little things, really. His increasingly more prominent protectiveness; The random public embraces (almost putting me in a headlock at times... let's face it, he's tall!); The way he'll stop in the doorway and just watch me for a few moments when he thinks I'm asleep.

I'll spare you the rest. <3